I am an
optimist. Sometimes I forget that I am, but deep down, the positive is what my
heart always clings to. When a stressful situation comes along, my immediate
reaction is to forget about it, so that I can stay happy. I think a lot of us
are like that. We want to believe that life is good and that there is beauty
ahead for us. We want to lead hope-filled lives.
The topic of
hope has been on my mind lately. Since the beginning of the year, as I already
wrote about, I have been on a journey of regaining hope. And I have been
surprised at what I have found. I often feel like the psalmist declared, “my
cup runneth over” (Psalms 23:5).
Some recent
experiences have reminded me of this hopeful feeling. As many around me, I
recently visited the Payson Temple Open House. (Side note: I wanted to finish
this post before the open house ended on May 23, so that I could get people excited about
going, but my thoughts have not come together until now.)
To me, the
Payson Temple was unlike most any other LDS temple that I’ve ever seen. It was
absolutely breathtaking. If you’d like to see pictures of this magnificent
temple click here. The detail put into the architecture-
the furniture, the lovely stain-glass windows- was incredible. I felt like I
was inside a palace.
As we walked
into the celestial room, a room representing Heaven, I was stunned. I remember
thinking, I don’t know if I deserve to be
here. But almost immediately this thought came to my mind, Anneli, you deserve every good thing.
Now, this is a
significant sentence that has stayed with me. Earlier this year I was in a
relationship with a sweet boy who would often tell me that very same phrase.
Every time He said that to me, it felt as if God, Himself was saying those very
words to me. So naturally, when that phrase came to mind in the temple, I knew
where it came from. And I felt hope.
Many times in
the past 5 months I have felt hope fill me. It came after I wasn’t accepted to
nursing school for the third time and found myself angry with God. But I
learned my lesson as I yelled at Him. I learned being angry with God can only
be a temporary thing.
I remember one
day after being so angry with Him, I started to cry and to apologize in prayer
for my anger. The overwhelming feeling that came to me that day was to just
trust Him.
Just trust Him.
It was as if He
was pleading with me.
So I started
living my life that way: trusting Him and breathing hope into my life. I moved
on from hurt. I didn’t let it touch me. I found strength from deep down inside
me to move forward and to face the future with excitement. Many people rallied
around me and buoyed me up. All of a sudden, my life was filled with light,
even with the absence of some things that I had wanted so bad.
My relationship
with others and with God grew.
And I felt
happy.
I am a big
believer that good things come to those who are happy and optimistic. Sometimes
those good things are just a fresh look the life you already have. Sometimes
those things are greater relationships. Sometimes the Lord helps you to radiate
your happiness to touch the lives of others.
But those good
things do come.
For me, recently
something pretty good did come. And when I least expected it.
At the beginning
of May I was working one day at the hospital. It was a pretty long day and I
was exhausted, but in one of my rare lulls when I didn’t have anything pressing
to do, I checked my phone and saw that I had received an email from Weber State
University.
Let me give some
background info first. When I applied to nursing school this year, I planned to
apply only for the program at University of Utah because their short program
made the most sense for someone who already had a bachelor’s degree. I put most
of my effort into making sure that application was perfect. Then, almost as an
afterthought, I applied to Weber State University.
When I heard
back from both programs, I heard from University of Utah first that I did not
make the cut. Then, a few weeks later, I found out that I had a spot on the
alternate list at Weber State. Though there was a chance, I still didn’t plan
on making it in this year.
So, back to the
email. It said that they had an open spot and that they wanted to know if I was
interested.
Well, I was.
I couldn’t
believe it! My plans changed completely with that little email.
One thing that
moment really taught me was that I should believe in myself. That good things
could come my way. That my dream could become a reality.
I prayed so hard
that night and many times since in gratitude.
As I have tried
to decide what to do (and it sounds like an easy decision, I know) I have
struggled to feel complete peace about attending Weber State. I don’t know why
that is. But what I can say is that I am moving forward with faith and with
hope with the plan of going to nursing school in the fall and fulfilling a
nearly life-long dream of becoming a nurse. If not, there will be a better
plan, I’m sure. I know that because I know that God is a God of goodness. I was
reading the other day and read this passage: “In Christ there should come every
good thing.” (Moroni 7:22)
My message to
you today is that God is good. He has great plans ahead. Trust Him, please.
Don’t settle for
anything less than His best.
We are His
children and He only wants to give us His best. We don’t deserve it of our own
accord, but yet, He wants to give it to us.
Believe that.
