Jack

On December 5, 2018 at 9:51 pm our son Jack Andre Hardy was born. What a miracle he is! We are absolutely in love with him and his sweet personality. It's amazing how much love you can feel for such a tiny human.

During the delivery the Spirit was so strong. We knew we were so close to meeting this precious son of God who would change our world dramatically. We also felt as if there were other beings in the room besides just Jon, the medical staff, and me. I felt so strengthened through the labor process and was completely in awe of what abilities God gave to women's bodies. At one point, after laboring for 12 hours, we thought I may need to have a C-section. I still had not fully dilated and things weren't progressing. We had both of our families praying for us. The last time the doctor came in he decided to try pushing, even though I still hadn't progressed to 10 cm. We pushed and 45 minutes later, Jack was born. He weighed 7 lbs. 9 oz., which I felt was huge for my body. He truly was a miracle! Haha. 

Jack was so alert and so calm. And in most ways, he has stayed that way. At 10 days old, he is so curious and seems to just be taking everything in. He smiles all the time, and though I know it's not a social smile (that doesn't happen until at least 6 weeks old), it's the sweetest thing in the world. He loves cuddling. He loves being outside. He really just blesses our lives so much. I am trying to cherish this time of newborn snuggles and not having more priorities than just taking care of this sweet baby. I'll admit that it's been an adjustment, but I truly am cherishing the time I have with this sweet boy. I hope more than anything that Jack feels so loved and so safe with us. And that we can continue to keep him alive. ;)

It has been amazing to have a baby at Christmastime. I feel like I am learning so much about the Savior and the Atonement through my experience of becoming a mother. As Jeffrey R. Holland has stated, "No love in mortality comes closer to approximating the pure love of Jesus Christ than the selfless love a devoted mother has for her child"(Behold Thy Mother, General Conference Oct. 2015). It's amazing how God blesses you with this ability to love someone so much that you would give up so many comforts and sleep and still want to keep giving more and more. And then I think of how the Savior has done the same, and more, for each of us. And how we can rely on Him for strength as we try to learn to become more like Him. I've also thought a lot of Mary and how she must have felt giving birth to and raising the Savior of the world. How faithful she must have been. And Joseph as well, to have trusted enough to give up his reputation to marry Mary and father this sacred child. Lastly, I thought of how the Savior so humbly came to this earth as we all do, so innocent and so dependent on others. Watching our sweet boy, I can't imagine that such a powerful being would condescend to come to earth as a small baby. 

A couple weeks before Jack was born, I wrote him a letter. I hope to give it to him one day, but for now, I simply want to remember all the emotions of anticipation and all the hopes that I had for him. We have so much to teach him and so much love to share with him. 

                                                                                                                November 14, 2018

Dear Jack,

It’s a few weeks until your due date and I have been anticipating the day you would join our family for a while. This morning I spent about a half hour just sitting in your room and dreaming of what it would be like to be your mom. I cannot wait to meet you! I feel like I already have a connection to you because of the time we’ve spent together with you inside me. I love feeling you move and trying to communicate with you. I hope you know my voice. I hope you know your dad’s voice too. We try to talk to you often and tell you how much we love you. Let that love sink in because it’s real.

Sometimes when I think about you I start to cry because I already love you so much! It was harder than we initially thought to get you here, and it took me longer than I thought to become your mom, but I know you are coming at the exact time that Heavenly Father wants you to. And that’s part of what I want to talk to you about.

One thing I want you to know about is God. I want you to know that not only do you have your dad and me, who love you so much, but you have a Heavenly Father who loves you even more than we do, if that is even possible. He knows who you are. You are His precious son. He will always love you, no matter what you do, just as will your mom and dad. He will always be someone you can turn to when you need help. Your mom and dad want to help you and support you always, but God can do that way better than even we can. Please believe in Him and get to know Him. We will teach you how to pray and about the scriptures and about God’s plan for all of us. It is the most important information you will learn in this life.

There’s so much more I want to teach you. I want you to know who you are. I want you to be confident in yourself. I want you to learn to unconditionally love, although I’m sure you’ll teach us more about love than we may ever be able to teach you. I want you to learn that people are good and that they deserve our love and compassion. Serving other people will make you so happy.

I want you to learn about how joyful the world can be. I want to share with you my favorite things, like mountains and hiking, chocolate and cheese, music and dancing, laughing, reading, traveling, and spending time with others. There is so much goodness the world has to offer and we are so blessed to get to experience it here.

I want you to enjoy learning. There is so much knowledge you can gain in this world that will make you a better person. Learning about other peoples and cultures will help you be more understanding and kind. It will help you to connect with others more. Learning will also help you to greater understand the complexity of the world. It will help you be humble and teachable because you will realize that you will never quite understand everything.

I hope you feel safe and loved as you grow. Know that you will make mistakes, but so will mom and dad. We will teach you to say sorry for those mistakes and we will always forgive you. We will also say sorry when we do something wrong and we hope you can forgive us and see that we are just trying our best to love and care for you. I hope the safety and love that you feel will help you to share that safety and love with others. We are all here to help each other. That’s what life is all about.

There is so much more I want to teach you, but that will come with time. Above all, know that you are precious. You are wanted and you are needed in this world. And you are never alone.

Love you forever,

Mom