Enabled Beyond My Abilities

Hey everyone! It's been way too long. I apologize for my absence. My excuse is nursing school. It's been a busy semester. But a super good one. I just finished my last final, so I am officially done with my first semester. Yee-haw!   I wanted to write a quick post tonight before I go to bed about some things I've noticed this semester in the midst of the craziness of my life.

First off, here's a post I put on Instagram at the beginning of the semester:

Finished my first week of nursing school today. I am torn between the giddiness of being a part of something so good and something I feel so drawn to and intense feelings of being overwhelmed. I have felt both that I am so loved by my Father in Heaven and that I need to figure out how to structure my life to let all this overwhelming goodness in. This is going to be so time consuming! If you don't hear from me in the next little while, it's not because I don't care. It's just because God has granted me some of the deepest desires of my heart and I don't want to let Him down. Please pray for me!

Needless to say, I was terrified. And for good reason. They drill it into you when you start nursing school that you aren't going to have a life. That you need to prioritize your time and figure out what you can keep and what you need to say "no" to. That was stressful for me. I wanted to do it all. I had so much on my plate: working and average of 30 hours a week, nursing school 3-4 days a week (where I was told I needed to get an average of 80% on all my tests or I would fail), and so many other things. I learned quickly that I wasn't going to have time for everything.

So I did say "no" to some things, but they were relatively small. I cut down to 24 hours a week, had to miss seeing a dear friend once a week, and I had to go to bed pretty early each night. They were sacrifices, but I got so much in return.

A couple of weeks into nursing school things got a little crazier. One Sunday when I was feeling particularly overwhelmed, I received a text asking me to come speak with my bishop. I remember when I got the text, I had this feeling that I was going to be given a big assignment. I just remember feeling both a warning and a comfort. It was like I was being told, "I'm going to add more to your plate, but please trust me and take this. It will make your life so much better. And I will help you." So when I was asked to take on this calling/assignment, with tears coming down my face, I said yes. And I am so glad I did. It has been such a blessing to grow, help others, and to learn to rely on the Lord more.

So I went forward with faith, and a little bit of fear, but mostly faith. I knew that Heavenly Father would help me and He did.

Tonight thinking back on this last semester, it is so clear to me that I did not do this alone. Not only did I have time to do all that was required and asked of me, but I also had time for other things that brought me so much joy. I have been able to attend the temple regularly, which has helped me so much. I have been able to go to the mountains often, which has also helped me find comfort and so much enthusiasm for life. And as an added bonus, I have been able to make social things a small priority in my life, which I have found to be so important to my sanity.

During this time I have not been the perfect student, the perfect coworker, the perfect disciple of Christ, or the perfect friend. But I have tried. And Heavenly Father has blessed me abundantly.

Sometime during the middle of the semester, I started to really internalize the fact that I was not doing this alone and the abundance in which the Lord was helping me and I wrote down a list of things He had helped me with. Here are some of them:

       *Time to make school, work, church, and dating a priority (miracle)

       *Nursing group who was so supportive and encouraging (you know who you are)

       *Getting on average above 80% on all my tests

       *Able to wake up early most mornings

       *Not having my school books stolen when someone broke into my car (long story)

So here I am at the end of the semester. I did better than I thought I would on my finals. And as I was studying and worried sick, I felt a sweet assurance that He does want me to succeed. And He was there helping me.

Take a look at your own life. He's helping you more than you realize.

"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths."

Proverbs 3: 5-6

*Thank you for all your prayers and support as well. They are incalculable.