Hey all! I know I don't write in here enough. But I have been having some thoughts recently that I wanted to share. If it seems to you that I am learning the same lesson over and over again, I am. I guess I'm slow.
I've been learning a lot this year so far. We're half way through the year and I've already passed my goal of reading 20 books. I've been learning so much in these books about the value of education, the importance of real human connection, the struggles that different people have gone through, and ultimately to love others more and judge them less. If anyone needs book recommendations, let me know.
I've also been learning a lot about service. I have realized that service is not only good for those you serve, but it lifts you as well. I love that I've had so many opportunities to serve this year so far. At times I have grumbled about them, but when I just get to work and serve someone else, I always find that I am happier for it. Now, making yourself happy should not be the reason you serve, but I think seeing someone else better off and learning to love them more makes service all worth it.
One other thing that I wanted to mention is a lesson that has really stuck out to me the last couple months:
The Lord can make more out of your time that you can ever
plan for yourself.
I really believe that.
Recently I have been looking back on the past year. Jon and I have almost been married one year. It’s been an incredible year. When we first got married, I wasn’t sure how we would be able to see each other, but we made time and it all worked out so much better than I could have imagined. Don’t get me wrong. It was hard at times to almost never have a day off from work or school, but we made it work and somehow even found time to go on lots of adventures. I have no idea how that all happened. And we've had awesome experiences to serve each other. I look back and can see how much we’ve grown closer to each other and to God.
At the beginning of 2017, Jon and I looked at our goals
and I just about had a meltdown. We had so much that had to line up just
perfectly, so that all our other goals could work out. I had to get a nursing
job (a process that stressed me out to no end), pass the NCLEX—a test that
decides if you become a nurse or not—on the first try so that we could go on a
humanitarian trip, and then start my job a week later, all while planning for
Jon to quit his job in the fall and start his MBA 50 miles south of where we
currently lived. I could go on, but you get the point. There was a lot to plan for and I
didn’t trust my abilities to get it all done in the timing we had planned on.
The first six months of this year were challenging, but I
was determined to do all I could to make it all work. I studied hard for my
NCLEX test (even though I felt like I was making no progress- that test is impossible
to understand). During the time when I was studying for the test, I began to
pray every time I prayed to be able to pass the NCLEX. Each morning I pleaded with God to
help me and I told Him the reasons why it was important to me. During
those few weeks I experienced some very tender moments, when I felt as if
I was being strengthened beyond my abilities. There was one particular moment where I felt that I
had so many people seen and unseen that were cheering me on and literally
opening paths for me that I couldn’t see. It was a transformative moment for me.
I felt nervous to take the test, but I
knew that I had done all I could and that Heavenly Father was 100% on my side.
I took the test and ended up with the best possible outcome, though I can’t
tell you if I got even one of those 75 questions right or not. I know that He
was with me.
I felt that strength also when we went to Peru for
humanitarian work. I felt like my Spanish came back almost immediately, even
though I had not been practicing it like I should have for years. And we met so
many incredible individuals and had some very sweet moments.
In the end, all the things we needed to line up perfectly REALLY did lined up perfectly.
Now with the future again looking a little daunting, I feel
confident that it will be doable. Not just doable, but it will be great. I’ve
started officially working as a nurse (YAY!) in a cancer unit like I’ve always
dreamed of. I’m seriously loving it. It is a dream come true! But next month I will start working night shifts and
Jon will start his MBA. Though it feels like we won’t ever see each other, I
know that all will be well. Heaven is on our side.
As I’ve been thinking about this schedule change, one
thought has come back to me time and time again:
Do not complain about the
blessings that you have.
At first I was complaining about my new job and that I would never see my husband. But in all reality, what I am seeing as burdens, are really blessings. I have been given the opportunity to work as a nurse,
something I have wanted for 10+ years. And I have a really good marriage,
something that not everyone has. Though I may have to go days at a
time without seeing my husband, I need to just be grateful that I have him. And I am. He's the best thing in my life! I
also have a million other blessings that stare me in the face daily as a
reminder that come what may, I know God will be with me.
My point is God is faithful. I look back on every period of
my life and see moments that He blessed me. He has been there through EVERYTHING. And He has helped me accomplish some major
goals that seemed impossible at times. He has taught me that "with God nothing shall be impossible", (Luke 1:37).
As He has told us, “I will not forget thee….I have graven thee upon the palms
of my hands", (1 Nephi 21: 15-16).