So, it’s been a while. I’ve been thinking about writing something
for the blog for a long time, but nothing has seemed right. Until the other day.
It took a few days to write this, and I hope it brightens your day.
There have been a couple of changes in my life since I last wrote:
1) I officially decided to attend nursing school, (and it
starts in two weeks!).
2) I moved to this adorable new area. Picture tree-lined
streets with quaint and eclectic cottage-like homes. And I’m living in one of
them. I even have a little path through the trees in my back yard. It feels so
much like home!
3) I’ve been able to spend lots of time in the mountains
(aren’t they glorious?!) and have taken half a dozen small road trips to visit
various places in the area trying my best to enjoy the summer. It’s good to
explore! Thank goodness for a job that allows me to work full time and to still
have days off to do things like that.
4) Life has kept me busy with so many other good things, as
it always does.
On paper it sounds like things are going really well. And
really, they are. But I’ve been struggling a little.
When I first moved to my new area, I felt pretty alone and
very unsure of myself. I think that’s pretty normal, right? But my case seemed
to be extreme. I also felt very nervous to get to know people, more than I
normal do. I’m not sure quite why. But being the goal oriented person that I am,
I was determined to overcome that and made a long list of things I was going to
do to keep me from being anti-social. I tried to push past these anti-social
tendencies. And I made friends pretty quickly. People were so kind. Yet, I was
impatient with my progress and still felt a lack of confidence.
I also started having anxiety about nursing school. I second
guessed myself and started worrying about whether or not I could do this. I
dreaded the day nursing school would start.
At the same time the Lord was trying to reach out to me.
A few weeks ago I felt that the Lord wanted me to know on no
uncertain terms that the negativity I was feeling was holding me back from reaching
my goals. It was making me discouraged, it was causing more problems, and it
was impeding my progress. I’ve thought about that a lot lately.
My focus had drifted from what was important: Heavenly
Father. The love I have for Him. The blessings and promises He has given me. And
the joy I have in serving Him and His precious children.
Here are some things I have learned since.
I realized that my outward circumstances should never change
the commitment I made to the Lord. I made a commitment to serve Him no matter
what. And frankly, what I lack is never an indication that God does not love me
or that He is not aware of me.
He taught me that positivity can do many things for me.
It can help fix my
problems.
It can help me to really
feel of the Holy Ghost and to feel closer to Him.
It can help me see
goodness in my life.
It can help me think
more realistically and clearly.
There really is power in positive thinking.
I have some real desires for my future and so many of them
are coming true. I want to have influence. I want to serve others. I want to
follow the Lord. Maybe other desires that I have may not yet be coming true,
but why spend all my time focusing on those, when the Lord is blessing me in
the here and now?
If I am following Him, why should I even doubt that my life
isn’t turning out exactly as it should? I have a second chance at my dream
career, I have a great support group (including newly formed friendships), and
I have so many opportunities in my job, in church, in my family, and in social
media to make a difference in other people’s lives. And if I don’t recognize
these positive opportunities in my life, I will forget to take advantage of
them and they will pass me by.
That is part of what He meant when He told me that my
negativity was impeding my progress.
I have a quote in my bathroom by Audrey Hepburn (bless her!)
that says, “Happy girls are the prettiest.”
Isn’t that the truth?!
I can definitely think of people in my life that completely radiate because of how positive they
are. (Thanks Nina, Jaclyn, and countless others.) I am drawn to them. I want to
be around them more. I want to be more like them.
But the opposite is also true. If you are always focused on
the negative, people tend to shy away.
Negativity was part of what was keeping
me from wanting to make friends and may have also kept others away from me.
A week ago as I was working on endless tasks I had to
prepare for nursing school and feeling a little overwhelmed with the commitment
I was making and whether or not I was capable of all that was required of me, I
was reminded that He was working right alongside me tirelessly to make sure
everything came together for nursing school: inspiring me to check documents
where I had forgotten some details, blessing me with advisors who were very
understanding of my mistakes, etc. I was reminded that He was my advocate. That
He was on my side. That all things would work together for my good because He
would help me through this incredible challenge.
Like earlier this year, he said “Trust me. Please trust me.”
And I felt peace.
That feeling is so underrated.
Wasn’t it He that said “Be of good cheer”? (Matt. 14:27)
So I’ve decided to be excited about life. I really have no
other choice after these experiences. Life is so good!
Positivity is a catalyst to overcome discouragement. It
gives me more hope. It leads me to draw closer to my Heavenly Father and
suddenly, I feel His Spirit more in my life.
So, in conclusion, I love the place my life is at. I am a
force for good in the world. I have potential to do great things with God on my
side. Why shouldn’t I be in awe of the goodness of my life?
God is moving Heaven and Earth to make good things happen in
my life.
And I hope you can look at your life and feel the same way.
